Month 1 of 6: AUGUST

stream of consciousness about august

To be perfectly honest, August didn’t shape up they way I thought it would. Not even in the slightest.
Perhaps because it was the first month of this film series, I thought it’d be filled with adventure. I would explore new places and take road trips in search of enlightenment, new friends, or good coffee…
That didn’t happen.
Instead I found a bunch of strangers.
Strangers who became coworkers who then became friends. People I looked forward to seeing everyday. Conversations with them I looked forward to having. People who inspired me.
People I hope to keep in touch with.
Some of these people, I can’t imagine not having in my life in the future.
I didn’t expect to find this at work. None of my other jobs shaped up quite like this.
I started drawing again while on break at work. I’d doodle on Dominos napkins I’d find in the backroom.
Then I started painting. Drawing more. Creating. Doing these things I absolutely love, but forgot about.
Which makes me wonder why we forget about the things we love most so often.
I began leaving drawings around town. Maybe for promotional reasons, but I think more so to make some stranger laugh. It fills me with a satisfaction I can’t seem to justify.
Now I’m contemplating double majoring in studio art.
Crazy how the universe’s path aligned everything that way.
Life can be unpredictable.
My dad had an emergency surgery on his eye mid-August. The recovery process tedious and long. Family and friends came to visit and everyone seemed to say how unexpected it was that something like that could happen randomly.
I guess we don’t include things like this in our expectations for a reason. We don’t like to be reminded that we are mortal. That we could falter. That we can break.
I wish I could take people’s pain away sometimes, both physically and emotionally. A lesson I learned many times that month.
I try not to get attached to places too often. I love to travel and in order to keep that love of traveling alive I try not to resonate with one particular place too much. Even with this in mind I find it hard to leave perhaps not so much because of the place, but because of the people.
My car broke down and delayed my departure— I spent those days with my family and silently thanked the universe for that extra time.
I left.
I packed my memories with me.
I was back in the mountains for only a few hours before I had two of my favorite people outside my door. Granted I was in the shower and didn’t know they were outside my door waiting for about fifteen minutes.
We went to iHop and caught each other up on how summer went. New inside jokes were formed.
I ate scrambled eggs.
We road tripped to Maryland and I got a long-awaited tattoo by an artist whose work I absolutely love.
I almost don’t feel worthy enough to have something so beautiful on my skin. I just really appreciate the artistry.
We saw a show downtown. We took the long way. Live music is everything.
My roommates came back. We caught up.
I ran into countless friends within the few days I returned. People I’ve missed. People I was so incredibly excited to see.
There are new people too— people I’ve had excellent conversations with. People I hope to know better.
The universe will decide.
I smell like bonfire smoke right now, a scent I’d buy if you could bottle it.
August didn’t go as planned. I’m glad. I’ve never been one for planning anyways.

AUGUST from Becca Calhoun on Vimeo.

I’m excited to see what September holds.

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